I'm Gonna Drive A BUS: Part 1

i've been sick of my lifeguarding job for a while now. The thought of another summer watching people swim laps in a 3 1/2 foot pool, indoors, is just more than i can handle. there's no spontaneity; no change from one day to the next. its all too routine. i need to know something different is going to happen tomorrow. i need freedom. the outdoors. the fresh air in my face. the open road...

so when the YMCA announced that they would need a full time bus driver for the upcoming summer camp, i made sure my name was at the top of the list of applicants. 

getting to drive a bus is a dream come true. not only to i get paid to drive, but i'll be the master of the road. nobody fucks with a school bus. you can swerve all over the road, as long as the kids are still smiling, right? and at the end of the summer i walk away with a Class B license and months of experience, not to mention a pay rate nearly double what i'm making now. oh, and i get to...enrich children's lives...with stories...and ADVENTURES. 

there are a few hoops i get to jump through in order to obtain my Class B, Thrill License. i have to read the Commercial Driver's Handbook, and i've got to say, its a page turner. i mean, its only taken me about 4 weeks to trudge through 44 of the 134 pages. its a real delight, seriously. we should start a book club on this blog. then i would put the California Comme...i can't keep this joke up. its boring as shit.

i get to read all that  to prepare my self for the written test, to get my permit, so i can get some behind-the-wheel training. then its off to take the final driver's test (the summer camp diretor, who also has his Class B, said the final driver's test takes almost an hour). but before i could get to ANY of that, i had to have a physical, and drug test. i wasn't surprised to learn that i would have to pass a urine test, but i still wasn't thrilled about it. so, in preparation, i stopped smoking pot just before Christmas. the day before, in fact. i figured that i would get my physical, pass my drug test, and jump back on the horse. nope. i'll be placed into a "pool" when i get the driver's position. translation: i can no longer smoke marijuana. you remember when dave chapelle stopped smoking in "Half Baked"? thats me. 

its alright. i've already mourned. don't feel bad for me, i haven't made this decision lightly. i just have to get reacquainted with alcohol. 

anyway, i had my physical yesterday, and all went well. abstaining from the pot for 3 months paid off. my piss is so clean you could drink it. plus, Dr.Yee's hands were warm and tender with my gentleness. Stage One: Completed.